Beyonce is in a bikini :(

Beyonce and Jay Z are on some massive yacht in Monaco Bay today, and for the most part Beyonce stayed pinned down as if somebody was shootin at her. Which was annoying until she got up, perhaps to see if the timer on her cookies had gone off. “Ohh yeahh,” I said to myself at that point. “Her body is disgusting, I forgot.”

You know you have a giant ass when your bikini comes with a big thick waistband to reinforce the seams. It’s the kind of thing they put on straight jackets. Her idea of sexy talk is probably to tell Jay, “I want you to take me. To town. So I can get a pizza.”

(image source = splash news online)