Ali Lohan is in good, nicotine-stained hands

When Lindsay Lohan came to Hollywood, she didn’t have anyone to show her how to be a total fuck up, but with hard work and a little pinch of magic, she managed to party away millions of dollars and destroy her career beyond all repair by age 23. Luckily Ali Lohan has Lindsay to show her the ropes. What could go wrong?  E Online says…

We’ve been seeing Lindsay Lohan drag her 15-year-old sister, Ali, around to various late-night events (but) according to Lindsay, Ali can handle it.
“She’s tougher than I am,” Linds told Life & Style. “She has a good head on her shoulders. Maybe it was different for me because I didn’t know what to expect and it just happened really fast. I didn’t have a big sister.”
Already, Ali’s got one thing going for her because she knows when to call it a night and do her homework…
“She’s really good about that,” Lindsay says. “If I’m going out late, she’ll go home early.”

That is the only reason Ali may have any chance. No matter what else happens, at least she has the structure of her school to keep her grounded.

No I was joking of course. Ali doesn’t go to school. Don’t be ridiculous. She’s home schooled. By Dina Lohan. Yep. A typical days course load consists of them giggling about how if “course load” was spelled “coarse load” that would sound like someone was talking about cum, and then they go get some cigarettes. The End. Ali must be learning a lot. Pardon me, DR. Ali must be learning a lot.