Kelly Ripa Seems Happy

Former NFL lineman Michael Strahan has been anointed by ABC as their magical morning TV negro. He’s been promoted through the morning infotainment TV show ranks at speeds unnerving to his facially barely recognizable female co-hosts who haven’t eaten since the first Bush administration. While Strahan’s co-host on Live, Kelly Ripa, has been struggling to eliminate her final two percent of body fat, Strahan’s been wined and dined and now promoted right off the Live show to Good Morning America. Ripa’s protested by calling in sick to work this week leaving the unemployed women of America without their average 4.7 “Oh, Kelly, you’re so silly’s” during their 9-10am TV viewing block. That’s three million women in danger of having to find something productive to do with their mornings. It’s unclear precisely what Ripa needs to feel whole again but a sandwich has to be on that list. Also becoming black. The latter seems more likely.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI