Lindsay Lohan Can’t Have Nice Things

Lindsay Lohan seemed settled down with a young wealthy Russian man who believed in her creatively and as important, supported her financially. Somebody left the keys to the liquor cabinet out and everything went to hell.

Lohan spent most of the weekend on social media calling out Egor Tarabasov for cheating on her with a Russian prostitute she mentioned by name then coyly implied she might be pregnant. It’s unclear what alarming sound effect plays through a Russian man’s head when he realizes he’s engaged to a crazy ass drunk bitch. 

Friday night:

“My fiancé’s being really angry at me, but I’m drinking water to get him to come home. Honey, come home, please.”

Saturday night:

Post a photo of yourself and your fiancé and scribble the shit out his face in marker.

“I guess I was the same at 23… Shitty time- it changes at 26/27 @e2505t thanks for not coming home tonight. Fame changes people.”

“Wow, thanks #Fiance with Russian hooker @pa5hlondon”

Sunday night:

“lindsay lohan labour pains trailer – I am pregnant!!”

This kid has access to Google so you have to lay the blame at his first for climbing into the rowboat with the dinghy. Her parents maintained a successful marriage for a decade by dad beating the crap out of mom when she had her spells. Assuming Egor isn’t a fighter, he’s got to be halfway to the safety of a new continent by now. Young wealthy dudes with Johnny Depp mustaches tend to have numerous second chances. This is one to laugh about with your friends, even the ones who think you’re an asshole.

_{Photo credit: FameFlynet}