Lindsay Lohan Possibly Pregnant

Lindsay Lohan is saying she is pregnant but most likely lying to get attention the way crazy cunts are wont to do. She’s still chain smoking so there’s that. Also she is most likely barren and has ceased menstruating due to years of paint huffing. Lohan’s creepy dad is convinced his daughter is telling the truth and is giving interviews to Page Six on the subject which is totally normal and not a sign of the dysfunction which fucked up his daughter so royally in the first place: 

“She tells me she is and I have no reason not to believe her … I was a little bit taken aback, but it was to be expected. She’s 30 years old. She wants to have babies. She loves kids. She’s had relationships with people in the past who have children and she’s very close to them. She’s got a very maternal instinct.”

Is that what you call picking rocks out of the carpet and going a week eating nothing but vodka? If there’s one person on earth who decidedly lacks a maternal instinct it’s Lindsay Lohan. In fact she can’t even take care of herself. Not sure how well Lohan thought out this plan but her fake pregnancy may soon lead to a fake abortion to go along with the dozens of real ones she’s no doubt had over the years to the point Planned Parenthood gave her a punch card. This will all be over soon. She had a good run. 

_{Photo Credit: FameFlynet/AKM-GSI}