Lindsay Lohan Smoking for Two Now

Lindsay Lohan bolted for Sardinia on the heels of blowing up wasted at her Russian boyfriend and declaring herself pregnant. She’s been chain smoking cigarettes on the beach which either means she’s lying about that pregnancy part, or she’s following in her mom’s footsteps on nicotine being good for the unborn. Crazy bitches flee in times of crisis. They also look remarkably fat in lycra.

It sucks to be the one Russian male without killer instincts. Putin would’ve long ago ordered Lohan disappeared. This Egor fellow is likely texting her apologies for shit he never did. Addicts wrap these inexperience ones around their fingers. Apologize for making me have to call you a cheating asshole on Twitter. If you cared you wouldn’t keep liquor in your house. No, don’t get rid of it. That’s even worse. Let’s get married tonight!

_{Photo Credit: Splash}