Taylor Swift Does Okay

Remember that time you made fun of Taylor Swift then you found out she made $170 million this past year? That’s a lot of cheese for a bunch of mildly catchy country pop ballads. She didn’t even have to fuck anybody. Literally, she didn’t fuck anybody.

Middle school girls hold the power of the nation’s purse. If Trump wants to turn around the economy fast, make everything appealing to twelve year old girls. Tractors, fencing, centrifuges. Paint it pink and make it talk about how stupid boys are. Somebody’s dad will give them their credit card to buy one if only to make them shut up for ten seconds.

Madonna and the Rolling Stones and AC/DC and Bruce Springsteen also collected fat paychecks in 2016. Which mostly goes to show people like the same music at fifty they did as a teen. Which also means Taylor Swift’s career earnings will top one trillion dollars by 2050. She’ll be impossible to stop. Like the Borg, if the Borg hated guys but couldn’t bring themselves to admit it. And with an acoustic guitar and ass pads. Thinking about how money flows in this economy can only lead to depression. If she had big breasts this would all makes more sense.

_{Photo credit: SplashNews}