Madonna’s New Ass Seems a Tad Bulky (VIDEO)

Malawi is a special place for Madonna. It’s the impoverished African nation where she’s purchased between three and seven of her adopted children. You can never get those shiny beads back.

Madonna hosted a fundraiser for Malawi at the pretentious Art Basel gathering in Miami Beach. Even her one hundred and ten percent gay male audience threatened to walk when Madonna introduced her freshly jacked up ass cheeks during an onstage twerk with Ariana Grande. It was hard to miss what looked like an elderly lady who failed to notice her hemorrhoids comfort donut was still glued to her rear. It was either grossly unsuccessful implants or some kind of elephantiasis of the paddy-cakes. Kanye sent a gift basket for his first boner in six weeks.

For Ariana Grande, it was like a visit from the plastic surgery ghost of Jingle Balls future. Rocco Ritchie need not quip about how he’s happy to no longer have to live with his mom. It’s implied. You can’t blaze enough to make this image go away.