Tarek and Christina El Moussa Were So Damn Perfect

Tarek and Christina El Moussa are among the many handsome looking young couples who host lifestyle and home improvement show on basic cable. As young real estate agents who looked amazing on bus stop benches together, they were tapped to host Flip or Flop, which you may have seen if you have a vagina and not a lot of ambition to jog today. To have a show on HGTV or the like, you must be either handsome brothers, a handsome young couple, or maintain a cache of semi-automatic weapons in your home with an undisclosed medical history. Usually it’s a combo. From there simply pick your family based DIY project and let the cameras roll on your good side.

According to TMZ which is basically the NSA for celebrity housewives, back in May, Tarek El Moussa was in a tizzy, grabbed a gun from the family safe in their Orange County home, and fled down a hiking trail. El Moussa claims he was out for a stroll and took the gun for protection. You really do need a firearm to keep safe from the Mexican trannies offering blowies to the upscale husbands who roam the local greenbelts at night. Tarek would later say the gun was for the bobcats and rattlesnakes. Either that’s code or extremely funny.

The cops at the time bought into whoever called in the “suicide” alert because they dispatched nearly a dozen Sheriff Deputies and a helicopter. Also Christina El Moussa went running down the hill crying because ultimately that’s what hot blond wives do in time of panic. That’s why you don’t give them the combo to the gun safe. Tarek was returned safely home where deputies found five more guns in the home, including an AR-15. Lots of rattlesnakes about.

Tarek and Christina would late mutually describe the incident as “an unfortunate misunderstanding”. Then Christina left her husband because not all unfortunate misunderstandings are equal. Like the ones where you brandish weapons and yell to the kids about taking them with you to the paddleboat boat in the sky destined for Chocolate Land. HGTV announced they would continue to produce Flip or Flop with the couple in a manner that was comfortable to them both. In short, they can’t bear to re-invent yet another home flipping show. So long as you guys fake smile and don’t scream about who one another is now fucking on camera, let’s remodel some disgusting houses. 

_{Photo credit: HGTV}