The Hough Family Dancers Seem Tight

It’s cute when little brothers and sisters dance together and perform little holiday numbers. It’s more disturbing when they’re dirty dancing at thirty. Surely there were a large number of Osmond style family shows in the Hough family Mormon coming up in Utah. It’s unclear when they became topless and sweaty risqué dance numbers. Blond hair and perfectly white teeth only absolve you of so many sins.

Julianne Hough who’s saving her virginity for her wedding night, and Derek Hough who prefers to bunk with male friends because women are too complicated, are launching their Move Beyond! Dance Tour. It’s a follow up to their Move Live! Dance Tour of 2014-2015 that drew in tons of fans countrywide seeking a channel to enjoy their sibling incest in a forum they could share on Facebook.

Both Houghs are physically ripped, an obvious upside to never fucking, drinking, smoking, or staying up past nine. If watching them put on their leather thongs and pantomime sexual tension through dance is your thing, prepare to catch them as they come through your town. The circus is dead since we freed all the elephants. 

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