Demi Lovato Is Totally Bisexual For Kristen Stewart Okay

Demi Lovato is an openly fluid bisexual pan-seared queer member of the LGBTQABCXYZ community, and don’t you forget it! The totally open and inclusive starlet sat down with the Peter Pan that unfortunately did age, hard, Ellen Degeneres, to play a classic game of Who’d You Rather featuring the who’s who of bangable celebrities like parking lot tampon Kristen Stewart and the most overweight former member of One Direction, Niall Horan.

Wait, did I just hear Kristen Stewart before hearing about the fat 1D singer? Yes! Because this actually isn’t your average game of Who’d You Rather. It’s a progressive version that will nab headlines and further fuel Lovato’s mid-level celeb status. She reveals that Stewart, a woman (allegedly,) holds the keys to her taint, and now the world is eating her shit up. If Lovato’s going to fail at having a successful eating disorder, by God she’s going to succeed at wanting to bang women.

Celebrities have a rich history of co-opting the LGBTQ identity in order to cultivate some sort of individuality or uniqueness that was never there. Gay-baiting former celebrity Katy Perry kissed a girl… and liked it(?!), Bella Thorne would hop on a lady frog if she thought it would garner interest, and Lovato was cool, but just for the summer, and also opened up about her identity in her YouTube documentary Simply Complicated. Not to be confused with the Meryl Streep documentary Simply Complicit:

I am open to human connection, so whether that’s through a male or a female that doesn’t matter to me.

I  have to go with my instincts on this and say that Lovato is just plain not gay in any capacity. She’s just fucking not. But this is what she has to offer the world, and if she can get Ellen – who inexplicably holds the keys to the success of celebs – stage four lactating in her chair, all the better.

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