Demi Moore New Teeth Are Biting Back

There’s a quiet confidence a woman gains when her meth teeth are fixed. Watch Orange is the New Black for a dramatized example. Though skip the ninety-four percent about oppressive prison conditions for the underclass. It’s not as broadly humorous as it used to be.

Demi Moore shocked the world recently when she popped out her falsies fronts and explained how stress had eaten away at her central incisors. You know, like how you see people in high stress jobs missing their front teeth all the time. Dream worlds aren’t only for long time addicts, but they certainly have first rights.

Moore apparently upgraded on some permanents, providing her the boost needed to fire back numerous harsh legal counters at the family of the 21-year old dude who died at her home two summers ago. The incident occurred when Moore’s dual house managers, you’ve got to have to, threw a big summer party when Moore was out of town on a Whip-Its Tasting Tour. Edenilson Steven Valle stumbled into the pool during the party, which is only important because he can’t swim and nobody noticed. Also, there was booze and the entire pool was heated over a hundred. He went lobster pretty quick.

Valle’s family decided to sue Moore because she’s loaded. The family claims Moore’s pool had no depth markers, which doesn’t seem important in regard to drowning, but you have to say something. Moore fired back saying your grown son was a tard who couldn’t swim at 21. Also, fuck you, giving guests free booze is a blessing, not a fault. Moore’s not going to pay a dime. With a full set of teeth, look out world. The old Demi is back. Not the old one one before the big boob job, the new old one, from Striptease.  

_{Photo Credit: Getty / The Tonight Show / Youtube}