Two Hipster Assholes Wed

Penn Badgley married Domino Kirke in a Brooklyn courthouse. If that sentence doesn’t fill you with homicidal rage you’re dead inside. Obviously the guy named Penn has a weak beard and obviously the chick named Domino has shitty tattoos. Over under who has fucked more dudes to get ahead? Domino is sister to Jemima Kirke of Girls and the other sister who’s on Mozart in the Jungle. None of them shave their pits. Here are two of them naked with hairy pits.

There aren’t that many nouns left to have a quirky name. Domino is the last one. Penn Badgley starred on some shitty teen dramadies before moving onto Gossip Girl. Domino Kirke has made some fairly shitty music featured in Lena Dunham productions. It’s completely unclear which of them is the male or the female. This is the closest science will get to verifying gender fluidity.

It’s not reverse racism to state that white people are fucking annoying. Every race has their pros and cons. For example, when is the last time you met an elderly Asian woman who doesn’t come off as bitchy? White people have lost their social dominance and now their offspring are searching for meaning by being incredible pussies focused on tiny causes that require no real commitment. These two are the future of Caucasian. You always knew we’d be beaten from within.

_{Photo Credit: Instagram}