Naomi Campbell Freed the Nipple For A Couple Days

Facebook and Instagram specifically has a policy against women showing their completely bare tits that has left some feminist activists flummoxed and opened the door for celebrity bandwagon self-promotion.

We know that there are times when people might want to share nude images that are artistic or creative in nature, but for a variety of reasons, we don’t allow nudity on Instagram. This includes photos, videos, and some digitally-created content that show sexual intercourse, genitals, and close-ups of fully-nude buttocks.

I’m glad you feel my pain. I really really do need to share my nudes, but I understand you have a variety of reasons and that sounds like more than two but probably less than five.

The Free the Nipple campaign is supposed to be about the righteous principle that chicks with flabby hangers should have the same completely unnecessary topless rights as dudes who jog in residential areas and pretend that removing their tank top helps their primo workout. On social media, this has translated to a whole bunch of female celebrities you have no interest in seeing topless baring their nipples and waiting to be shut down by Instagram and claiming injustice. It seems far more complicated than just posting to Twitter where you can post yourself butt naked fucking a goat and you’ll get blind retweets, but then you don’t understand drive-by feminism.

Naomi Campbell posted a picture of her tits to Instagram and claimed it under the Free the Nipple hashtag. Though even within her own political activism she noted the photo is from a new pictorial and editorial piece coming out in Garage magazine. You know Rosa Parks was pushing her handcraft jade jewelry once she got a name. Unlike most glaringly topless photos, or anything I’ve ever posted to social media ever, Naomi’s post never got removed. It’s unclear if this is because she’s black or really famous or really famous and black or if Mark Zuckerberg was just out of the interferon pills he takes to face female tits without seizure to render judgement.

The offending photo was finally was removed today. The world is a better place without women’s breasts to ruin it. It’s not as if Facebook and ISIS have the same beliefs just because they both cringe at the site of tits, have plans for world domination, and are currently using cheap Middle Eastern labor to run their operations.