Ben Affleck Guilty By Association

It’s entirely possible the rumors Ben Affleck was porking the nanny, Christine Ouzounian, are false. In fact there is zero credible evidence to back it up. Except that she’s a hot Armenian chick in her late 20’s. If that’s who you’re hiring as a nanny, given all the information we have on what inevitably happens in this scenario, as a husband you deserve to fuck this chick, and as a wife you deserve to be cheated on. Either you wanted it to happen, or you’re just dumb. There’s no other possible option. Is there a shortage of portly middle aged Salvadorian women? You know the ones who can cook and don’t call in every other day because they’re feeling not pretty? You take your husband, who could fuck just about every chick outside of Wesleyan and set him up with a young hot chick who is by the way mothering his children, while you’re out shooting a passion project, and you expect him not to take out his Batman? I’m not sure if did it, but he certainly should have. You don’t poke a sleeping giant.

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