Mila Kunis Sued Over Chicken

A fledgling singer who was apparently friends with Mila Kunis while growing up in the Ukraine is suing her for five thousand dollars because Kunis stole her pet chicken when they were kids. Kristina Karo now claims she needs to a shrink because of the emotional trauma, as do I after browsing her Instagram photos. Think Marilyn Manson if he slept on a potato sack and smoked discarded cigarette butts outside the Greyhoud station. It’s unclear if this is a publicity stunt or if Karo is truly bat shit crazy. Both of them were insolent for keeping a chicken as a pet in the desolate rubble of their motherland. Why are we eating gruel and when do I stab your pet in the head with a screwdriver and drop it into some hot oil? Karo’s suit will likely go nowhere, yet I’d suggest she be deported for disrespecting our legal system with tails of Mrs. Ashton Kutcher kidnapping her chickens. I heard cruise ships are hiring. Not to sing, are you fucking crazy? Here’s some rubber gloves, keep your head down and try not to scare anyone.

Photo Credit: Instagram