Rihanna Plays Along

I don’t envy the magazines that cover celebrities like they’re actual sentient beings. Harper’s Bazaar has a guy at the aquarium who I guess owed them a favor so they let Rihanna snorkel into the circular fish tank and pretended it was a Jacques Cousteau shark-filled ocean adventure. I’m not sure why they insisted on the sea-faring ruse. Somebody in editorial came up with the idea and they just committed tons of Photoshop resources and interview credibility points:

LAURA BROWN: Swimming with sharks is not only scary, it’s a big metaphor. How did you learn to swim with the sharks of life?

RIHANNA: I try my best to avoid the sharks of life, but I have had my share of experiences with them, and in those cases I just have to handle them accordingly. But I do not swim with sharks … sharks swim with sharks.

So true. Except you did just swim with sharks. It’s not just a big metaphor, it’s a confusing one. I can’t wait for Kate Hudson running with the bulls and talking about honesty and Katherine Heigl busy as a beaver shaving her taint. Or they could just photograph them all naked on a couch and quadruple their sales and call it a day. If only Estee Lauder didn’t demand their products be advertised against Stepford Pablum.

Photo Credit: Harper’s Bazaar