Angelina Jolie Deemed Pretentious

Angelina Jolie directed a biopic about an athlete turned WWII prisoner of war that will make your girlfriend cry. She turned in her final cut to Universal, who decided it was painfully slow and and pretentious, An insider who has seen the entire Rocky franchise summed it up as follows:

“Universal re-edited her movie, because it was too arthouse.. They took control and edited it into a more commercial movie.”

Its tough to bastardize something that’s heavy handedly nipping at your ass cheeks but I’m sure Universal accomplished the task. Instead of a lingering pan to a symbolic mountain look for some jump cuts to some Youtube nut shot videos. They don’t make movies like they used to. That’s because Hitchcock died of grilled cheese a few years back.

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