Candice Swanepoel Is Nearly Ready

Once a year Victoria’s Secret takes two dozen of the best looking models in the world and dramatically overdresses them for an exceptionally lame special on CBS. It’s the only primetime programming CBS runs during the year not aimed at convalescing seniors and the catatonic. Usually Justin Bieber or some other douche shows up and his buddies dare him to finger one of the girls who stopped caring about assaults not involving their face when they were seven.

The airing date is s national holiday in Myanmar where the children too short to ride Space Mountain exit their lingerie sewing factories to consume three boiled peanuts and watch the show on the communal Magnavox in the town square. If you could see the smiles on the faces of the juvenile workforce you’d know this shit was all worthwhile. It might actually be grimaces from repressing the pain of early onset arthritis, but those little bastards still light up like angels.

Photo Credit: E!News