Joe Biden’s Son No Longer Sea Worthy

Joe Biden’s son Hunter was kicked out of the Navy after testing positive for cocaine. This wouldn’t be a story if Hunter was a tyke fresh out of college, but at the age of forty four he is the oldest living man named Hunter and a partner at an investment firm. We will never know why Hunter decided to join the Navy after his first couple of million bucks. It’s sort of a young man’s game. Or I suppose a pretty cheap ploy to hedge your way into a congressional job after your daddy retires and the people who owe him favors are pardoned. After serving less than a month on the couch for the Navy he tested positive for cocaine and bullshit and issued this statement:

“The honor of my life is to serve in the U.S. Navy, and I deeply regret and am embarrassed that my actions led to my administrative discharge. I respect the Navy’s decision. With the love and support of my family, I’m moving forward.”

Except you didn’t serve and you have no honor. I don’t mind the kids of famous people picking up drug habits and generally being aimless good for nothings. That’s probably what I’d do. But using sideline military service as a resume booster seems pretty fucking shallow.

His political dreams may be over, but Hunter will certainly rotate all his lacrosse buddies through the Navy until he can finance one of their campaigns and pass loopholes for his investment firm. He’ll just have to watch them lose on a flatscreen while high on that sweet nose candy with a gun in his mouth.

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