Natalie Dormer Has Crazy Eyes

If you’ve never dated a woman with crazy eyes, you’re really missing out on one of life’s true risky pleasures. I don’t care if you scaled Everest using just your dick and a rubber band, until you’ve been with a woman who urges you to get some sleep while she stares catatonically at the kitchen knives, you’ve never really taken chances. If she asks you if you like her best friend, that’s just code for, how shall I sever your cock in your sleep? Because she doesn’t have any best friends. She worships the black raven that carries communiques from the Dark Lord in her head. Other women can see that. You were blinded by a chick who liked ropes in bed. Now your junk is in the garbage disposal and she ate your left eye for good measure. Regret only worsens behind an eye-patch.

Photo Credit: FHM