Paris Hilton’s Brother Gets Jacked Up Again

There’s no bigger mood killer than when Jeremy Jackson shows up at your party screaming, “Don’t you know who I am? I was on Baywatch and Celebrity Rehab.” Paris Hilton was just trying to kick it with some of her Valley of the Dolls 30-something besties at her Malibu summer mansion when Jeremy Jackson rose from the dead and busted into her party. Jeremy’s drunken advances were quickly thwarted by poor equipped brother Barron Hilton, the human Hollywood party punching bag, who took a few Yeats chops to the mug for his chivalry. You may recall Barron also got his ass kicked last December in Miami when Lindsay Lohan ordered a disco beat down on his ass because one or both of them were tweaked out of their gourds and it seemed funny.

When Jeremy Jackson kept advancing like a drunken panzer and got his hands around Brandon Davis, all the heirs and heiresses panicked as the life of their drug connect flashed before their eyes. Jasmine Waltz, cocktail waitress famed for punching Lindsay Lohan in the face and therefore a natural ally of the Hiltons, grabbed a vodka bottle and smashed it over Jackson’s head. Quick thinking from a bar fight veteran. Then everybody called 911 to claim they were assaulted while the public relations reps started concocting their fake stories. Barron Hilton and Jeremy Jackson were both driven to the hospital where they agreed in desperation to lick the last bit of cocaine off each other’s cocks. All the party guests later texted each other and agreed to do it again next Saturday.

Photo credit: Splash News