Jenny McCarthy’s Is True to Her Word

When Jenny McCarthy left The View due to being the worst swimmer in an intellectual pool of limbless ladies, she was given sixty seconds on air to talk about how her next project was going to be equally as huge and annoying. She fake laughed about how it would be a project where she didn’t need to fight for talking time and one that might even compete with The View itself. The three ladies in the audience not busy monitoring their blood sugar levels gasped just a little. But nobody could’ve have expected the children’s viral Phoenix to rise like she did, showing off her tits as a pool party hostess at one of the second tier Vegas casinos. She didn’t need to fight for talking time, she didn’t need to talk at all. And there’s no denying her fake tits are competition for The View, at least until Rosie O’Donnell pulls back her fleshy meat curtains to reveal her surrogate pregnancy sympathy episiotomy. I know, I just threw up too. Jenny McCarthy kept her word. The children with polio may now attempt to dance.

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