Rachel Stevens Is the Hottest Woman Ever

FHM decided to underwhelm Maxim’s hottest woman in the world unspectacular with their very own hottest woman ever in the history of mankind list. People just love lists, at least when they have their mobile phone with them on the shitter. FHM chose Rachel Stevens, a former British pop singer who looks a lot like Jewel and used to lip-synch crappy songs with horrific dance moves. She’s not bad looking and she spends her free time bringing clean water to North African children who otherwise have to drink slightly moistened sand. How could you not love her? FHM brought in a group of top British scientists to regression analysis their hottest woman votes of the past 20 years. Rachel Stevens name came out on top. I believe these are the same British scientists who concluded that fluoride is a pointless mineral and that Harry is somehow biologically Charles’ son. FHM’s once mighty British print magazine is circling the toilet right behind Maxim, with circulation down 85% since their heyday last decade. I’m not good with math, but I think once you’re down 100%, they come and take the furniture and change the locks. That will be a sad day, or what they call in Britain, Wednesday next.

Photo Credit: FHM