Orlando Bloom Has a New Girlfriend

Miranda Kerr tossed Orlando Bloom because she tired of mounting a dude who giggled every time he found the perfect new turtleneck. So Orlando went somewhere where skinny dudes can wear kerchiefs and ride mopeds and still have hot girlfriends — France. I remember seeing this Nora Arnezeder chick in the movie Safe House when trying not to focus on Ryan Reynolds trying to act. She’s pretty fucking hot. She is French so there’s a decent chance she hates lots of shit and her vagina smells like expired potpourri. Still, it’s not like there are that many movies coming up calling for an effeminate elf-like actor. Bloom needs to strike while the iron is hot. Strong start.

Photo Credit: Madame Figaro