Everybody Loves a Dead Paul Walker

You’re cursed if you weren’t lucky enough to die before the social media age. Not only are your loved ones going to find out about your demise through a Seth Green tweet, but you’re going to have tons of people you barely knew trying to outdo one another on who loved you the most. Everybody and their mother were searching their photo directories for ‘Paul Walker and Me’ jpegs Saturday afternoon. Kris Jenner couldn’t find one so she started posting inspirational quotes from Paul before the car fire had even been put out. I guess she figured she could bring this up in her defense at her future witch trial. Paul Walker believed in me! Put out these flames! Universal was so moved by Paul Walker’s death they held off on their meeting on how to replace him in The Fast and The Furious 7 by a full three hours. Then they commanded the screenplay robot to spit out a ripoff version of Point Break without the Keanu Reeves character.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI