The Dennis Rodman Story To End Precisely Where You’d Imagine

In case you’ve not been keeping track of the Dennis Rodman growing rap sheet, the alcoholic and child support delinquent ex-NBA star and current unofficial Ambassador to Noko, was arrested again recently for a DUI. This while on three-years probation for an Orange County freeway crash that authorities couldn’t deny was Rodman’s fault, since he was driving the wrong way on the freeway at the time.

Cops neglected to pin him for drunk driving on that accident. Which is odd, since 100% of all people driving late night on the wrong side of the freeway are either senile or drunk, and Rodman is too young yet for the former. Still, he was placed on probation in lieu of two years in the clink. That presumed good behavior. Even in Finland drunk driving is no longer considered good behavior. Sorry, Finland. I’m harassing you.

Rodman’s reps will be pushing for rehab over jail time. It’s hard not to see how the fifteenth court ordered stint might hold this time. But court observers believe the more than ten times arrested Rodman’s destined for jail this time. The inevitable conclusion to a life less ordinary, mostly by being drunk every single day of it. Also, relatively wealthy, at least until you burned through all the money.

Rodman’s one of those characters who is beloved simply for being a fool, without much consideration as to how he’s an enormous pain in the ass and literal criminal to the people not so fortunate to only see him in funny video clips. Like blowhard WWE wrestlers before murdering their families. America loves a comical chemically-imbalanced joker. Somewhere between considering drunks to be victims of a random disease and throwing them onto an ice floe for clinical death at sea lies the answer in how to handle these people. Prison for a couple years seems like a solid middle ground. It costs the taxpayers but some innocent’s life probably is saved in the process.

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