Rocco Runs Away

Madonna’s fifteen year old son Rocco ran away to England to be with his dad Guy Richie because he didn’t like spending his life on world tour with his mom. Long ago she stopped putting the sock on the door when she was fucking her gay backup dancers who really really need this gig. Even England is better. Dad hardly works. He’s there for you. You have to watch soccer. It’s a steep price. But not as steep as finding your 50-something mom’s gold grills covered in reluctant Moroccan creampie. I never imagined I’d write that sentence.

Madonna immediately went to court where she yelled and screamed demanding her son be returned to her in New York. Who else will lacquer her hard to reach spots with rubber cement and the foreskin of Kabbalah babies? Before you label this kid someday as a rich ne’er-do-well, just think about the things he’s seen in his young lifetime. I give him a free pass on up to murder. Completely free for matricide. Run, Rocco, run.

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