Fuck You, I Win

A judge threw out the Tom Brady Deflate Gate case because Tom Brady is too white and good looking to be punished. Also because the judge noted that under the Collective Bargaining Agreement, it’s unfair to punish Brady for cheating because the NFL lets guys cheat all the time so nobody expects to be busted. You can’t be punished for smashing your cell phones and destroying evidence because the NFL has never punished a player for obstructing an investigation before. In short, because you were a crappy permissive parent for so long, you can’t do squat about your teen daughter pounding Four Loko and fucking the entire varsity front line. Seems fair enough. Patriots fans will see this as a common sense legal ruling. The remainder will see this as hated pretty boy sliding on a insidious felony he clearly committed. Everybody will continue to wonder how Roger Goodell gets paid $40 million to be such a failed Commissioner. Mostly it’s just time to start the season. Nobody lives past fifty in the NFL. This shit all takes care of itself.

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