Simone Holtznagel Is The New Face Of Guess

Australian models seem to do well for themselves. Unemployment rates among hot blond women with large hooters runs about zero. That takes into account the vast majority who need not look for a job in the first place. This chick is the new face of Guess. Which I think means jeans and jackets primarily for eventual resell in Moroccan bazaars. She joins a long list of Guess girls who have gone on to fuck and marry very successfully like Claudia Schiffer, Alessandra Ambrosio, and Anna Nicole Smith. Drew Barrymore was also the Guess jeans model at one time which can only be explained by both sides being very drunk.

I respect anybody who makes it to the upper echelons of their profession. Anybody who thinks modeling isn’t just as every bit cutthroat as any other profession simply hasn’t been molested since childhood, forced early into adult clothing, and criticized by panels of crank lesbians for having chicken calves. Not to mention eventually having sex with Leonardo Dicaprio, if you’re lucky. David Spade if you’re not. Congratulations to Simone and the entire Holtznagel family. Not everybody earns their money back on braces.

Photo Credit: Instagram