WINONA RYDER IS FORGETFUL

Winona Ryder has a long history of forgetting to pay for things and outright shoplifting, and now it seems she may have had yet another incident where something valuable in her vicinity has magically disappeared.  The Post says…

Winona Ryder mysteriously lost a diamond-encrusted bracelet and ring worth more than $125,000, according to a published report.  Ryder told Bulgari jewelers that she misplaced their gems, which had been out on loan, after wearing them at a Marie Claire bash in Madrid on Sunday, according to the French celebrity-news magazine Voici.  She claimed she lost the precious stones after handing them in an envelope to her hotel's front desk for safekeeping.  But Voici reported no hotel surveillance cameras captured Ryder giving the jewels to front-desk personnel.  Bulgari has asked police in Madrid to investigate, according to Voici.

This is further proof that actors and actresses are the worst people on earth.  They’re complete idiots.  A fucking monkey could do what they do.  Let's review Winona’s plan to pull off one of the largest diamonds heists in history:

Phase 1: "That guy did it."Phase 2: ????Phase 3: profit

Wow, she thought of everything!!!  It’s the perfect crime!!!