MAGGIE GYLLENHALL IS DISGUSTING

September 4, 2007 | celebrity | editor | 0 Comments

For some completely inexplicable reason, Maggie Gyllenhaal – who might honestly be the ugliest person on earth – is the new face of Agent Provocateur lingerie. God she's hideous. I can honestly feel the bile in the back of my throat right now. It's so uncomfortable to look at her in the best of circumstances, much less to look at her trying to be sexy. Her eyes are six feet apart and her nose is all piggy and puffy like in cartoons when someone hits their thumb with a hammer. I could make a list of at least 10 dudes I would make out with before Maggie Gyllenhaal, and I'm the most hetero dude on the planet. Seriously. I'm all man baby. Many of the local Indian tribes here even have songs about me and the amazing adventures of my dork.

Tags: maggie gyllenhaal

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