PARIS HILTON IS FOR SALE

Last February, a 6000 square foot storage unit rented by Paris Hilton was auctioned off after Hilton failed to pay the $200 storage bill.  At the time, the LA Times reported the items included 18 diaries in which Hilton detailed various sexual encounters, pictures of Hilton at "wild parties" on yachts and in mansions, hundreds of personal pictures with her dressed and undressed, as well as her personal computer, clothing, videos, furniture and more. Now the items are up on Paris exposed.com, a website that launched last night.  For $39.97 (wait … 7?) you can watch a tape of her in a bubble bath and other “racy situations".  Yahoo says:

It boasts that it has an array of Hilton photographs, home videos, diaries, love letters, recorded phone conversations and phone numbers of friends and celebrities…

Well unless they have picture of Paris turning herself inside out, I'm pretty sure everyone has seen evey inch of her a hundred times.  And it’s a safe bet that her diaries detailing her sex life will be just fucking insufferable.  “ I met this guy and he was really cute and he was totally checking me out and he was a really hot dancer and I’m a really hot dancer so we danced and then we got some drinks and I don’t like ice in my drinks but he got me ice in my drink so I drank it with ice in my drink and then we went back to his place and he didn’t have a dog but I have a dog and one time my dog had this dream and in the dream my dog was running because when dogs dream it looks like they’re running and I think that’s because they’re chasing something like maybe a deer but I don’t know if it’s a deer it might be a rabbit, because dogs hunt rabbits and also deer but I think mostly rabbits…”And it will go on like that for 45 pages and thenit will just be some drawings of stick figures on top of each other.